it's a 4 of Pentacles kinda day

once upon a time there was me in my jester suite stuck in the old patterns and beliefs. bet you did not know i sometimes double as a blue winged jester.

feelings of frustration and resignation and being chained to the way things are.

'that's just the way it is', 'there's never enough', 'it's mine, i don't want to share, i worked hard for this'

the mantra and the basic struggle of the 4. things are ok so really we don't want to rock the boat. but somehow we sense or know or see a different way.

but we don't know how to get there and before we even really try to get there we're just gonna sit here and mope about it.

now there are a few things that can happen in this story:

1. someone or an event might shake us up and knock us off our perch which might make us see the key to our escape plan sitting on the floor.
2. someone might just happen to wander by, pick up the key and ask 'did you drop this?'
3. we might, in our contemplation happen to pick the floor to stare at and voila key!
4. being a pentacle we might remember we have a body and start stretching it and breathing which could lead to the discovery of the key.
5. we might remember we chained our self to this big coin and maybe it is time to walk away.
6. those candles could light something on fire and force us to move.

the 4 sort of shows our addiction to money in an interesting way. in this card it actually shows us a poor jester wooed by the money and chained to it. now completely unable to move until they choose to walk away from it. (but because we are in the land of pentacles it might not just be money, we might be struggling with our body, or our safety, or our home, or the way we make money. so really it cold be anything. *sigh*)

it's the struggle of balance, too much money weighs you down, too little money beats you down. how can we control the flow? where is enough? greedy vs poor there is a place in between that is just enough-but it's hard to find and hold on to.

this card with it's books and illuminating candles would suggest learning. the chain and key  within reach would suggest mastering your own fate, taking control, choosing to stay or walk away. how can you give and receive more equally?

what can you do today to renegotiate your beliefs about your money, your body, and your ability to find balance. please just pick one thing and take a tiny step forward, no need to try and do everything at once.

for me that one things is getting back here, posting more often and making this blog more a community and about sharing and about learning. it's intimidating when you get behind to start again, so what better way to begin again than to introduce you to the 4 of pentacles. there has been a drought and i don't want to flood but i want a nice steady trickle of content to beginning to make it's way from my brain to this place. remembering to show up consistently is very, very hard for me and a good practice.

we aren't even going to discuss the idea that the obvious key isn't the right key. because although that is a possibility-yuck-we don't want to be stuck here. also we know the universe isn't that mean,-yet-this is a 4, the major hiccups don't happen until the 5, 6 and 7's thankyouverymuch