do over!

rally was amazing! and DEEEEEEEP! oh my! so much unwinding and learning and holy cow moments. also nothing that i planned to get done got touched. at all. which is perfectly fine because this re-arrangement of brain space was super important.

but like my last entry states one of the best parts about rally! and Havi! are their ability to help you enter and exit all situations in life with more consciousness and grace.

and i practiced all week, and sometimes would actually go back outside and re-enter because i felt all ookie.

but leaving rally was a disaster, so i am declaring a do-over!

and pulling out the stressed amy! that jumped up and ran out like a chicken with her head cut off out and re-doing the whole thing in my brain.

because i cannot do it in real life.

so i hummed away rio all morning and made space for the me that was freaked out by traffic and travel feel safe and sent love and energy and hugs and kisses to all my new rally friends whom i did not get to hug in real life. (but secretly i believe that is because we are all supposed to meet again and hug hello)

i did catch myself as i was exiting the building and entered the taxi with awareness, and the train with thoughts of water side (which i got plus a second seat to myself) and the rest of the journey happened with ease.

today, i entered the day with tiredness because re-writing these patterns is tricky and hard and makes you sleepy, but i allowed for the napping and everything got magically clearer and less exhausting.

sometimes it helps to remember that you just spent half of the last 3 days wearing a crown. (eric is confused by how much that picture does not look like me but it is me!)

after all a queen never apologizes when she needs to declare a do-over. she just makes it happen. (she does apologize if things disrupted others--so sorry for my crazed exit and please throw it to the elevator shaft)

do over powers of exiting activate! in my head i see my phone alerting me that my taxi is here and instead of freaking out that my phone is making noise and it's the taxi, i calmly answer and tell them 'i shall down in just be a moment.' then i stand and hum the exit song and blow kisses and dance my way out.

really we very rarely get things right, only movies do. but we forget that for that one scene in the movie, they spent the whole day trying to get it 'just right.'

really what this whole post is about is that i entered! i felt the magic! but i messed up on the exit (and that is ok) so i am practicing my awareness of that so maybe next time it is less dramatic and force field disrupting for all.