musings

it has been brought to my attention several times this week of the beauty of being a human. what is so beautiful about it both authors wrote, in very different ways, is the ability to make mistakes.

it is so wonderful to have it pointed out to me in such a blatant and deliberate way that i am here not to be perfect, but instead to be perfectly capable of messing up. this drive to not succumb to our human nature-mistakes-leads many of us on a life of order, predictability and ultimately dissatisfaction in the end.

the last few weeks have been a roller coaster of self doubt, depression, and fear. it has not escaped my notice that the universes is pulling me out of this funk by asking me to embrace these parts of myself and daring me to show up in ways that may allow me to fall on my face or may allow me to spread my wings a little further.

today i stood at my back door an marveled at the breathtaking beauty contained out there. i am truly lucky to have a small home with an incredible view of puget sound and the olympic mountains. the sky was high clouds covering all but allowing muted sunlight to filter through, what was so incredible was the calmness of the water and the blue-ness of the mountains and her foothills, the white snow and the soft yellows of sun peeking through the cold grays and whites of the different layers of clouds. it took my breath away.

i wondered if anyone else was looking outside and saw this incredible sight, and if it moved them.

the mountains have so much time on this earth to learn lessons of patience, self love and mastery. they can afford to make many mistakes, to learn, to risk, as they will be around to change and do things differently. we can take that approach as well. it doesn't matter if we are here 60 or 100 years. what matters is if we have lived during those short years. if we were willing to give up everything to become greater than we were before. i don't know if i will always be able to say "yes" to life. in fact i know i won't be able to, i just have to look back on these last two weeks. what i do know is that i have continuously come back to myself time and again and said "yes" and that, is all that counts. it matters not how many times you run away. all that matters is that you return. and so you prove that you are human and therefore perfect in every way imaginable because you are alive and able to mess up and willing to return to face yourself. to love yourself by choosing your imperfect, fallible, self.