compost

being self employed is surely becoming the most hazardous thing i have ever done. my time is divided into a myriad of "Things to do" "Things that I should do" and "Things that must be done yesterday."

in amidst all the internal chaos are two cats, a house, a giant yard, laundry and dinner. oh yeah and a husband. how'd i forget him?

what am i slowly but surely learning? that every thing counts and that all my failures need to be relegated to the realm of compost. yes compost, that luscious black squishy dirt that feeds plants vital nutrients, keeps their roots warm in the winter and wet in the summer. no plant can thrive without this decaying material made of bit of paper, food, leaves and lots of small bug like things. when i look back, i find much fertile fodder all in small piles... what a delightful and more healthy way to look at these piles. instead of being embarrassed, ashamed or repelled by the failure i can back up, laugh a little and sprinkle it hardily onto everything i see.

if i can shift my perspective just this little bit i can see that yes, life is full of shit, and what a delightful thing to roll up your sleeves, dig your shovel in and hide your own pile under the skirt of your newest success, because that pile fed that success just like compost hides at the base of every healthy plant.

so in addition to the mantra
chop wood, carry water
achieve enlightenment
chop wood, carry water

i will add:
shovel shit
achieve enlightenment
spread compost